Come Deeper

After touring this beautiful island, I find myself on a boat.  My bible is sitting on the boat’s hull and it starts to fall into the water, I am so upset but this man with the most amazingly loving eyes sinks in after the Bible and as he drops down, the boat shifts and I find myself also falling in the water.  At first I struggle to come up and grasp for breath but then I see the man with the Bible in his hand look at me with those eyes and a peace comes over me and I stop struggling and feel myself sink lower and lower into the clear water and even though I’m not breathing, I am also not dying.

I had this dream many years ago and believe it was Jesus’ invitation to go deeper into His word and to trust Him in the deep waters of the unknown…… to die to self and find abundant life in Him.   At first I struggled against the changes that needed to happen;  old habits that were a part of my life were pruned away and people whom I once called friends stopped coming by.   But over time and as I embraced how deeply Jesus loves me, the struggle has subsided.  There is so much freedom as I get to be myself before an audience of One…. the Only One that matters…. the Great I AM.   There is so much freedom knowing that He loves me just as I am and I don’t have to wear one face for some people and circumstances and a different face for other people and circumstances.   I have found true freedom because I no longer have to fit my faith into my life.  My faith has become my life and interwoven into everything I do including my yoga practice. 

It has been said that if your faith was on trial would you be convicted?  I now consider it an honor to field these types of accusations, knowing that He shines through me and just as many rejected Him, I too will be rejected.

There is so much freedom in being consistent in my speech, in my behavior, in my relationships and in my work.  For me, to live as a Christ follower means I only have one person to please rather than that particular group that I happen to be with.  To love Christ makes it so easy to please Him because all He is looking for is my pure love.  This is not to say I won’t have struggles or conflicts, but I always have my Great Counselor and life manual, the Bible, to refer to for clear direction.   I never have to make decisions from a vacuum.  It is very comforting to know that there is nothing new under the sun and the Bible is full of stories of people just like me who overcame sin and trials and troubles.

Oh Lord, thank you so much for relentlessly pursuing me to come deeper.  Thank you, Jesus, that I have freedom living in you!  Thank you that I can lay aside my masks and live an authentic life, unashamed to show the world who you created me to be.

Hanan Palzfaith, love, be yourself